5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed and How to Tame Them Now[cont]
3. Uncertainty or fear
You sense: "I don't know what to expect." "How will we manage?" "What fresh disaster awaits today?" "Now what?" "I'm terrified x will happen."
Remedy: "Knowledge is power" isn't just a cliché, it's darn good advice. To wit:
You sense: "I don't know what to expect." "How will we manage?" "What fresh disaster awaits today?" "Now what?" "I'm terrified x will happen."
Remedy: "Knowledge is power" isn't just a cliché, it's darn good advice. To wit:
- Collect all the facts you can. If it's a disease, troll the web for info, make lists of questions for doctors. If the fear is financial, research options in detail, find experts to consult. Take notes.
- Collect others' experiences. Don't be embarrassed or shy about asking around to finds friends of friends who've been there. Seek out support groups. You're not the only one who's ever been through anything.
- Accept that you can’t know (or control) everything. I've seen caregivers tear themselves up with anxiety over the fate of a sick relative. They want answers. They want restored health. They want crystal balls - and they don't exist.
- Break time into bearable bits. Get through today. Then tomorrow.
4. Too little self respect
You sense: "I don't have time for myself." "With all I put up with, I deserve this bag of chips/pint of ice cream." "When is it going to be my turn?" "I hate myself."
Remedy: Advocate for yourself and love yourself even more than everyone you love around you. Ask yourself:
You sense: "I don't have time for myself." "With all I put up with, I deserve this bag of chips/pint of ice cream." "When is it going to be my turn?" "I hate myself."
Remedy: Advocate for yourself and love yourself even more than everyone you love around you. Ask yourself:
- Am I doing things that make me feel better five minutes from now but will make me feel much worse in five hours? I'm talking that bag of chips here. Mindless eating fuels stress because we wind up feeling sluggish and remorseful. Tell yourself; "I deserve better" and do something that will fuel that feeling - exercise, one glass of wine, a chocolate-dipped strawberry (just not a dozen of 'em).
- Am I at least ranked in the top three on my priority list, most days? Granted, it's hard to make looking out for #1 your daily Job One, amid parent care, childcare, work, marriage, etc. But if you're not even sticking yourself in the list, it'll never happen.
- Do I feel likable and deserving? Everyone is! But if you can't honestly answer yes, it's time to find a counselor who can help you unlock this block.
5. Feeling isolated or unsupported
You sense: "Nobody understands." "Nobody asks about me." "I'm too embarrassed (or depressed or overwhelmed) to socialize."
Remedy: Push past the hurt and initiate. This stressor is huge for caregivers. When the situation is new or overwhelming, a natural inclination is to hibernate. To avoid this trap:
You sense: "Nobody understands." "Nobody asks about me." "I'm too embarrassed (or depressed or overwhelmed) to socialize."
Remedy: Push past the hurt and initiate. This stressor is huge for caregivers. When the situation is new or overwhelming, a natural inclination is to hibernate. To avoid this trap:
- Express yourself. A feeling bottled up is one more bit of pressure that will eventually explode. Say it to someone, write it down, even telling it to your dog gets it off your chest.
- Find yourself a fresh support network. Child going off to college? Mom moving into your spare bedroom? Maybe your old friends can't relate. You need some like-minded souls who are dealing with the exact same things; look online for abundant supportive groups.
- Beware of stressors disguised as support. If your sister promises to help you but spends half the time criticizing your efforts, she's sapping your energy.
Source: http://www.caring.com
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